A Question of Importance
by Shini no Megami
Summary: Why were you smiling? Huh? When you were bleeding to death out of that giant hole in your stomach, stupid monkey. Why were you smiling? Rated for language and lots of talk of death


A Question of Importance

"Why were you smiling?"

Goku blinked slowly at Gojyo, his normally --------- brain working at a fourth it's normal speed after lying unconscious for three full days.(1)

"Huh?"

Gojyo hissed, and leaned back in his rickety wooden chair, running a hand distractedly through his hair.

"When you were bleeding to death out of that giant hole in your stomach, stupid monkey." he bit out roughly. "Why were you smiling?"(2)

Goku, for once, ignored the casual insult, and gave a soft smile.

"Because it was for Sanzo."

"So that's it then?" Gojyo growled, glaring angrily at Goku, even though, in truth, he was glaring at the thought of Sanzo not giving a damn about what Goku would do for his sake. "You'd die happy if it saved that corrupt priest? Does your own life mean nothing to you!"

Shaking his head slightly, Goku pushed himself up with a low grunt, until he was leaning against the headboard. "No, that's not it." he muttered softly. "Sanzo...Sanzo saved me. I was dying in that cave, starving in that dark and lonely world. I'd just stare out though the bars every day, longing for the sun and warmth just out side my cave, and force myself to accept that I'd never have it. I would always tell myself that I must have done something truly horrible in the past, and I didn't deserve that beautiful world.

"Sanzo didn't just free me from that prison, he cleared me of my past sins. Sanzo gave me this life to live. It only seems right that I should give it to save him."

Gojyo gave a loud snort. "You talk about that bastard like he's some kind of God."

"To me, he is."

Silence reigned in the small room, and Gojyo sat for several minutes, before walking across the room, pouring a glass of water from the pitcher Hakkai had brought in earlier, and handing it to Goku.

"Thank you." Goku murmured before taking the cup and downing it in a single go. Gojyo smiled, glad to see that some things never changed. Goku coughed roughly as his dry throat was assaulted by the water.

"Baka." laughed Gojyo, rubbing Goku's back in small, soothing circles. Really, he was voicing his remark to what Goku had said only a few long minutes ago, and the hiccuping sigh that the smaller boy gave was a sign that he understood.

"About some things," Goku admitted softly, "but not about this."

"Yeah, well, he's too much like a real God for my tastes." scoffed Gojyo, moving back to his chair and throwing himself down into it. Catching Goku's golden gaze, he said, "He wouldn't care, you know. You could kill yourself for him, and he wouldn't care. Just like all those other high and mighty pricks in the heavens. He wouldn't care, Goku, so why-?"

"I hope not." interrupted Goku quietly, empty hand clenching and twisting in the sheets of his bed. "I don't want to think that my death would make him sad. I never want to be the one to hurt him like that. If he doesn't cry, that's the only way I can go on to the afterlife happy."

Gojyo stared down at Goku, wonder, fear, anger, and sadness all warring and spinning in his head until blind rage finally won out.

"You damn, selfish, stupid monkey!" he screeched, struggling not to jump up and strike Goku as hard as he could. "What about Hakkai and me, huh! Don't you even care about how your death would hurt us!"

"Would you cry, Gojyo?"

The red head snapped up, and Gojyo blinked stupidly at Goku.

"Would I...?" he muttered lowly, before smirking at Goku. "Well, yeah. I mean, who would I have to pick on if you died on us? Hakkai would just sigh and ignore me, and Sanzo would shoot me or kick me out of the damn car. Do you realize how boring the rest of the trip would be without you?"

The message, though hidden in the flippant joke, was loud and clear.

_We'd miss you. It just wouldn't be the same without you there with us._

Goku nodded, then stretched and yawned. "Well then. If my dying would be so annoying, maybe I should have just gotten myself killed a couple hundred miles back."

"Damn monkey." Gojyo growled, but he couldn't help but feel relieved at the light that would beginning to sparking in Goku's drooping eyes.

"Go back to sleep, brat." he muttered, pushing Goku down onto the pillows. "You lost a lot of blood, and Hakkai says you're gonna be damned tired for the next few days. I'll try to have some food waiting for you when you wake up."

"Alright!" Goku chirped happily, snuggling down underneath the covers. "Can I have meatbuns?"

Gojyo narrowed his eyes. "What the hell do you think happened to you three days ago? You're only getting soup until you're feeling better, and that's only if you behave, got it?"

Goku puffed his cheeks in agitation, before smiling sleepily up at Gojyo.

"Hey, Gojyo?"

"Yeah?"

"I think...I think I'll try to live a little longer. For the meatbuns."

"Always think with your stomach, don't you?"

Goku giggled. "It hasn't been wrong yet."

Smiling, Gojyo settled back and watched Goku drift off to sleep, barely noticing when Hakkai crept into the room to stand behind him.

"It's not true you know." Hakkai muttered after several peaceful moments.

"What isn't?"

"That Sanzo wouldn't care." Hakkai silenced Gojyo with a wink. "Goku's wormed his way into Sanzo's heart the same he has ours, even if our dear priest won't admit it. He'd be devastated if Goku died." An image of Sanzo screaming his name frantically, cradling a blood-spattered Goku in his arms formed in his head as he said this.(3)

Gojyo nodded slowly. "Yeah, I know. It's not that he doesn't care, it's just he doesn't know what to say. I just wish he'd explain the difference between martyrdom and suicide to the damn monkey so I don't have to."

"But you do such a good job of it." Hakkai chuckled. "Well, come on. You promised Goku food, so we should probably get some. Now that he's awake, he needs to build his strength up again."

"Yeah, yeah." muttered Gojyo, stretching lazily as he stood. Both turned and headed out the door, not noticing the smile that slowly spread its way across Goku's face as he slept.

**Owari**

* * *

1. When I write, and I can't think of the work I want to use, I usually put a blank down instead until I can dig my thesaurus out of the pit that is my room. My friend was glancing over this fic, laughed, and told me I should leave this particular blank just the way it was. So I did. 

2. Yeah, I'm making up situations for the convenience of the story. So sue me.

3. Same as above.

SnM: yawn Okay, so this one came out a little more random than normal. I was watching Goku nearly drown himself for Sanzo in a Gunlock episode a couple days ago, and it got me think about all the things Goku would do for Sanzo's sake, and why. The idea continued to pester at me in English, in band, and, eventually, in my room, at 11 o'clock at night, when I was trying to get some much desired sleep. Thus, anything wrong with the latter half of the story that is wrong I refuse to claim responsibility for, seeking as I was half asleep at the time.

This fic, in contrast with my usual trend, isn't meant to be shounen ai in anyway. You can read it as such if you wish to. Honestly, I was trying to establish the brotherly role that I think Gojyo plays in Goku's life by having him deal out some much needed advice. That being said, all flames about me not putting a disclaimer on this fic will be blatantly ignored, seeing as there are no intended couplings in it.

Please review. (waves and falls asleep at computer)


End file.
